Seeing the positive side

I’m completely dumbfounded by how my baby can be the sweetest little boy for the majority of the day, and then become just an absolute nightmare for no reason. He loves to turn into a monster right after we feed at him at 3am. No amount of food, cuddles, diaper changes, or soothing seems to work between the hours of 3 and 5:30am.

I suppose we should consider ourselves lucky. I spent some good minutes on Reddit reading about other parents’ struggles with their babies and I suppose if he’s only a nightmare between 3 and 5:30am, that’s a big win comparatively.

Like with almost everything in my life, I would do better to look at the positive side of things versus focusing on the negatives. That applies to work too.

Today, I had a jerk reach out about looking for help on financing and he was just simply an asshole about things. He demanded absurd terms and had no intention of working with us. We do our best to help people and understand that our products aren’t for everyone, so these people who come in always bother me.

Again, this one asshole shouldn’t ruin things for me. For every one of these guys, we work with a ton of amazing clients that are grateful and amazing partners for us. Again, I need to focus on the positive side of things rather than the minority of the negatives.

Going back to parenting, I can only hope Colin’s 3am transformations will stop with enough time. Until then, I I should try to enjoy my bonding moments with my son during these times. And also be grateful that it’s only a 2-3 hour period of the day that he’s like this. He’s an awesome kid all around.

Distributions are coming

Pitchbook published data that VC distributions in 2023 were a 14 year low. That’s the lowest level since the great financial crisis. That’s no surprise to anyone that follow the space as there were more tech IPOs in 2008-2009 than there were in 2022-2023.

There is a severe lack of liquidity in the private markets right now. Founders and employees are starving for liquidity as well as LPs who invest in VC funds.

The only thing that can really jumpstart things is the IPO market opening back up. Luckily, we’re starting to see indicators that 2025 will be a better year for the IPO market.

ServiceTitan filed their S1 a few days ago and expects to go public in the next coming few weeks. We’re hearing that many will watch closely and hopefully follow behind them.

This feels a bit like 2020. In 2020, we saw the elction get past us and then a few tech companies such as DoorDash and AirBnb go public in December. That opened the window and a ton of companies went public in the following year.

Of course, 2020 was a different day and age. COVID was still a thing and interest rates were nearly 0. No one expects a mad rush like it was in 2020, but the consensus is that the window will open and liquidity will start flowing again. Let’s hope for the best.

The newborn downtime

We’re past the second weekend with Colin in the books and it was relatively uneventful which is obviously what we hope for. We did start getting out a bit more and we even ate out with him once. That was really fun and exciting for me. Perhaps it was less exciting for Colin who pretty much slept the entire time.

With a newborn, it’s pretty much a consistent schedule of sleep for 2 hours and be awake for 1 hour. You do this about 8 times per day. So far we’ve been lucky that Colin has been somewhat predictable and has slept well.

I’m loving every minute I have with him, but I’d also be lying if I didn’t feel cooped up and even bored at times when he is asleep. There is a lot of downtime and while it’s nice catching up on my TV shows, I’ve never done well sitting on the couch all day everyday. These last few days, I’ve had this urge to get up and do something.

Of course sacrificing for your child is part of parenthood and I’m happy to do it. We’ll also be able to go out and do more things as he ages and he gets to a more consistent schedule and ages.

In the meantime, I want to be present with my son and enjoy the newborn time. Everyone says it happens quick and they miss this phase, so I’m not taking it for granted by any means. The consistent long sleep and nap windows also allow me to get out and do things like workout which will help me fresh and on my toes.

Weekends with the baby

It’s the weekend but it hardly feels like a weekend. Two weeks into fatherhood and it feels like every day and night is just one big blur.

Just when we thought things were starting to get into a consistent schedule, Colin decides he wants to change things up and go absolutely bonkers last evening and all night. That wasn’t fun and was probably the most frustrated I’ve been since he was born.

This early newborn period has a lot of sitting and hanging out at home. As someone who is home, I’ve always struggled with that. While it is nice and does allow us to get some rest when Colin naps, I do feel a bit cooped up at home.

I’ve got a sudden urge to want to go out and do things now. The tough part is those activities are severely limited with a newborn. You don’t have a lot of time as feedings happen every 3 hours at the latest. You also simply can’t do many activities as they can get fussy.

As time goes on, Sophia and I will need to do our best to try to maintain our lives and get out as much as possible. It’s good for Colin and our sanity.

Craziness in the world

It’s Friday. I’m feeling rested and looking forward to a quiet weekend with my son. The first week at home was a success and luckily has gone according to plan. The sleep has been manageable which came as a bit of a surprise. I’ve even had a chance to get a lot of work done.

I’ve been able to drown out most of the world news so I can focus on the important things right now. That’s been a blessing given everything going on. Unfortunately, I got caught peeking at the news this morning on Trump’s cabinet picks and I wish I hadn’t.

I really hope Trump’s presidency works out and he surprises me. I had that same hope in 2016 but unfortunately it didn’t come true. I’m hoping the years of experience may have led him to learn something.

I’m not in disagreement with everything Trump says. I do believe the government is likely bloated and there could be a lot of work to be done to become more efficient. I also think that we could use a change in pace in a lot of these cabinet positions.

What we’re seeing now though is a cabinet of inexperienced individuals and conspiracy theorists at best. This is downright dangerous. Let’s all pray that the senate does their job and keeps Trump in check or we’re all in for a shitshow.

Expecting the unexpected

We had our one week check-in at the pediatrician for Colin today. He was born full-term but early at 37 weeks so he was on the smaller side. We were really monitoring his eating and weight gain for the past week to make sure that he was in a good spot.

Turns out the little monster has been on a tear and has gained over a pound. That’s over double the target weight gain of 1oz per day. I suppose it’s no surprise that my son loves to eat. I’m relieved that things are going well in his short life.

I’ve learned a ton about babies and parenting in the first week. At the same time, I feel like I know nothing at all. Perhaps that’s the beauty behind parenting - it’s impossible to be perfect parents and have a perfect baby but they are also made to be adaptable to first time parents.

Of course, I know that when things are going too well, I should be fearful. I’m inevitably going to get sucker punched by some cluster feeding growth spurt or some unforeseen problem that comes up. I’ll do my best to enjoy the process throughout though. As everyone says, it goes by quick.

The new work / life balance

It’s been relatively smooth sailing with Colin one week in. We’re sleeping a lot less, but both Sophia and I are still optimistic and handling it fairly well. He has a witching hour between 3 and 5am almost everyday, but he’s also been able to sleep for 3 hour stretches with no problems often which goes a long way in getting some sleep. The difference between 1-2 hours and 4-5 hours of sleep a day is a world of a difference and we feel lucky to be in the latter.

Unfortunately, I had my first dose of new reality when it comes to work / life balance today. A new deal came across our desk today and despite being technically off, I had to pick it up as there was no one else. On top of that, a meeting I agreed to attend tomorrow was completely shaken up due to travel issues and I’m trying to figure out how to make it work with Colin’s schedule.

This is normally not a big deal and even if I was off, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. But of course this is on top of taking care of Colin and cooking dinner while Sophia gets rest. She had to sacrifice a bit of her time so I could accommodate my work, but a routine few hours became incredibly hectic now with a child.

I know I need to get used to this and this will become the norm. I’m going to have to just simply embrace the chaos.

The bad nights

I’ve been holding up well the past week with the middle of the night wake-ups. It hasn’t been easy, but I haven’t struggled too bad all things considered. That changed this morning unfortunately.

We had Colin to a good schedule yesterday so Sophia let me get to the gym for a quick workout. I took my usual running class and it was a struggle to say the least. I quickly realized that my 3-4 hours of sleep a night is going to have a tremendous impact on my overall energy levels and mental capacity.

Not only was my run a struggle, but I also noticed I was prone to a lot of brain farts. They’re small and minor things, but these are things don’t normally happen such as forgetting to lock my locker or forgetting where I put my phone.

Regardless, it was nice to get some exercise in. I fell asleep instantly and woke up at my shift to take over Colin duties at 4:30am. The past week hasn’t been too bad, but this morning was a big struggle. I was exhausted and Colin was fussy and did not want to go to bed. I struggled barely staying awake until 6:30am when he finally decided to take a nap and then snuck another hour of sleep in.

I suspect that this was the first bad night out of many going forward. Perhaps I got a bit too confident that things weren’t as bad and my son had to put me in my place. It was a humbling experience and I need to remind myself that this is going to be hard, and I need to be kind to myself.

The football team mentality

I’ve always taken a sports team philosophy to the workplace. Playing football in high school which I view as the ultimate team sport, changed my view on life. It taught me responsibility and gave me a work ethic. It made me realize that most things that are good in life require a ton of hard work. And it taught me how to work in a team for the greater good of the collective whole.

I bring that same football team mentality to the work place everyday. I have always emphasized a team over individual mentality and structure our teams accordingly. We work together, we pick each other up when we need and we hold each other accountable.

I’m a believer is that culture is what you do, not what you say you do. So everything I write about here, I try to live it everyday at work. Obviously, I’m not perfect and I’ve screwed this up plenty of times but I like to think I get it right much more often than not.

It’s been great to see this culture at play as I’ve taken a step back to take care of my newborn. My team has been nothing short of amazing this last week. They keep me the bus moving despite being short-handed and they do not complain about it. I feel fortunate to have an amazing team.

Shifting priorities

As much as I wish I could be sleeping 9 hours this week, it’s been really nice changing up my schedule completely. With our newborn, my schedule is no longer planned to a T on Sundays. I used to take an hour or two every Sunday to get caught up and plan for the upcoming weeks work.

Nowadays, my schedule basically revolves around Colin and when he decides he wants to sleep, eat, and poop. It’s pretty freeing and my anxiety level has gone down significantly. Of course, a lot of that is enabled because my team is absolutely awesome and has allowed me to go on a reduced schedule to make sure I have time for Colin and Sophia.

It’s no surprise that my priorities in life have shifted completely in the last 6 days. The most important thing in my life right now is making sure my son has an amazing life. Everything else is secondary. I still love my work and care deeply about Secfi and my coworkers, but “family comes first” takes a whole new meaning with a child.

I’ll be looking to get a couple hours of work done per day this week. Most of that will be spent on getting through emails and ensuring that my top 5 most important tasks get done. My teammates have been amazing and have been able to take care of everything else.

I suspect that I’ll spend most of November in this schedule with increasing time at work towards the end of the month. I’ll be back in December to help close out the year.

Fatherhood rocks

I’ve been running on 5 or less hours of interrupted sleep every night since Sunday. I’m no stranger to sleep issues and have struggled with my energy levels over the years. In a normal week, this would basically the death of me and I’d be struggling going into the weekend. But this time is different.

They say fatherhood changes everything and it was honestly something that I didn’t fully understand until it happened.

All of a sudden getting up at 6am after sleeping for 2 hours isn’t so bad anymore. There’s a human that needs me and wants to see me.

As quickly as my exhaustion and sleep needs have seemingly disappeared, everything else also feels on pause. I no longer have a burning desire to go out and have a beer with friends. My golf game is an afterthought. Work is away from any priorities now.

Of course, it’s less than week in and things will change. But for now, all I’m excited to do is hang out with my son and spend as much time with him as possible. He’s amazing and I love watching him grow and being his Dad.

Everyone was saying that everything changes when you become a father. They were right and it rocks.

Grateful

Sophia’s water broke at 4:30am Monday morning and we’ve spent the next 72+ hours in the hospital since then. It’s been an adventure to say the least. I’m completely in love with Colin and I couldn’t be happier to be a Dad. We’re taking him home in a couple hours hopefully.

The experience at CPMC has been nothing short of amazing. I wouldn’t say that this is the same as going to a luxury hotel, but in terms of hospital experiences, it was top notch. The facilities are great, but the doctors and nurses here are just amazing.

The nurses here genuinely care about helping you and your baby out. We’ve had multiple nurses come visit Colin after he was born. I’d imagine after working in Labor and Delivery for the many years and delivering hundreds/thousands of babies, they would be over it. That wasn’t the case.

Right now, I’m feeling incredibly grateful. Obviously for Colin and Sophia, but also for everyone and everything that helped bring him to this world. Modern medicine is just absolutely amazing and both Moms and babies have it just that much easier, even compared to when our parents had us.

These next few weeks are going to be challenging in many ways. The sleep deprivation has started and I expect that to continue for a bit. However, this is all worth it. It’s only been a few days, but fatherhood is everything I wanted it to be and more.

Time for a new chapter of liberalism

Like many, I’m upset by the outcome of the 2024 election. To be frank, I have not been particularly impressed by the Democratic party or Kamala, but I do believe Trump is a threat to democracy and stability in the world. Unlike 2016 where perhaps the Democrats and voters underestimated Trump, this election was a resounding victory.

The Republicans won the popular vote for the first time since 2004, have taken control of the Senate, and are set-up for a potential win in the house as well. America has voted and the policies of the (far) left have been rejected.

I had thought 2016 was rock bottom for the Democrats, but I was wrong. It’s clear that the party has a marketing and targeting problem. The simple fact is that the majority of the country vehemently rejects far left policies. It’s easy to paint the Republicans as far right and extreme conservatives, but the reality is that the majority of them are not and are more moderate.

The data is clear. Americans care first and foremost about the economy and immigration issues first.

The cost of groceries matter more to Americans despite the economy actually performing well in the last 4 years. The truth is that for most Americans, life has not gotten better and Trump paints the picture that he can change that. We can save the debate on whether that will happen or not, but this is the reality.

On immigration, the Democrats actually tried to pass a border control bill this past year. However, the damage has been done and the Democrats have been painted as the open border party. Again, we can debate the truth to that but perception perhaps matter more in elections than fact.

The Democrats clearly blew it on the economy and immigration. They also managed to lose a stronghold in tech with notable leaders publicly supporting Trump. The Democratic attack on billionaires has backfired with Kamala’s unrealized gains tax proposal. The Republicans had a hey-day picking on the Democrats and their policies this election. And we wonder how they won with a landslide. The writing was on the wall.

The far left policies of Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren need to be put in the past. I am a liberal, but in this day and age, the Democratic party has just gone too far left for most of America. Simply put, we cannot put in progressive policies that move the country forward if we do not win. Abortion and women rights are incredibly important, but they do not win elections on their own.

It’s clear that we need a change in strategy and thinking. It’s time for Democrats to go through a rebranding. We have the chance to be the party of equal rights with common sense policies that are pro-capitalism. We can build America the right way going forward, but first we need to look ourselves in the mirror.

Welcome to the world, Colin

I am overjoyed right now as we welcomed our newborn son, Colin to the world at 1:30am today. The last 32 hours have been an emotional and mental roller coaster for Sophia and I.

Sophia’s water broke at 4:30am on Monday morning. We had no major signs that he was coming so soon and thought we had another week or two. But that’s not how life works. Thankfully we had everything packed and ready to go and we were admitted to the hospital quickly.

The labor was eventful, but largely according to plan without any major complications. The birthing process is a crazy experience and my wife is a true warrior. I’m not sure if I could have handled that experience the way Sophia handled it.

I spent most of last night and the early morning feeling well a bit weird. It was surreal and almost like a dream that I had a baby son. I think both Sophia and I are in a bit of a daze right now. One thing is for certain though and that’s how much in love with Colin I am. Childbirth is a miracle and I am beyond excited to be a father.

Why we do this

I was annoyed most of the morning. I’m tired after a long week and had to deal with a lot of “inconveniences” this morning. I wasn’t a happy camper even after my morning coffee. As I write this at Noon, my mood has completely reverse as I got a nice reminder of why we do this.

I had a great conversation with a prospect to join the company that was energizing. He made me excited for the new potential hire.

I also had a great conversation with a potential client. Guy is one of the nicest guys I’ve met and just genuinely was excited that Secfi existed as we helped solve his needs.

Lastly, we just closed a deal for a client who is now able to buy his family’s dream home. It was the icing on the cake of a tough week.

Whenever I’m feeling down in the dumps about work in general, I need to remember why we do this. We are making an impact on people’s lives and building a company is the greatest thing you can do in your career, despite the fact that it’s not always fun and games.

Caring about your mission

One of my favorite clients just publicly posted that he left his executive role at a company he’s been at for over ten years. He’s a great person and I’ve gotten to know him well over the last 5 years. We helped with an exercise of his company’s options and the company went through an acquisition that unfortunately was not what was expected.

We have no regrets with our decision or thesis there. It was a great company with an awesome team that hit a rough patch at the wrong time. If I could go back, I would’ve done the same thing.

Despite his equity not working out, he wrote a heartfelt message to his team on the day he officially left. This paragraph really resonated with me:

If I can leave you with one last piece of advice, it’s this: take great care—of each other, our members, and our partners. Care about their needs. Care about listening first. Care about discovering what's right, not who is right. Care about helping. Care about creating value. Care deeply for your part. Care deeper about the whole.

Startups are hard. Most people pour their heart and lives into building their companies. Unfortunately, there’s no guarantee that your company’s equity will work out. However, increasing your equity value is just one piece of the puzzle to why we do this.

These startups build great products that can help millions of people. It’s a good reminder that we shouldn’t just be in it for the equity value, but also for the mission. Otherwise, none of this hard work is worth it.

Reddit

I was excited to see Reddit continue to perform well in the public markets after their IPO earlier this year. The shares rose 40% yesterday on updated guidance and the company announced they hit profitability. They’ve grown 68% from the previous year which is tremendous growth that exceeded our expectations.

Reddit has been one of our favorite companies for awhile both as a user and investor. We first started working with Reddit in 2018 and continued that relationship through the IPO. We doubled down on Reddit last year in their run-up to the IPO.

Some of my favorite clients and people to work with have been Reddit employees so I’m excited for them and their success.

The year-end crunch

We’re all feeling the end of year crunch quite a bit the last few weeks and expect things to pick up even more in the next couple of months. There’s simply just a ton of things that are happening at Secfi right now.

We’re in the process of raising a fund, hiring and training new team members, and planning for 2025 during our already busiest time of the year. And of course, I’m expecting our newborn in the next couple of weeks as well.

I can feel the tension among the team a bit unfortunately as we brace ourselves for a hectic next few weeks ahead. The good news is that the holidays are around the corner which should provide the team a nice break once we get through the worst of it. January is always a good time for us to catch our breaths as well.

In the meantime, there’s no easy fix. Everyone will need to step up a bit. We’ll all need to grind and work together to get through this and ensure that we have a successful Q4 and we have positive momentum going into year-end.

On the positive side - we’re a veteran team at the top who has been through this before. For myself, I know my sanity is going to be based on how well I manage life with the newborn. I plan on fully being present with my family when I take a couple weeks off towards the end of November. To do that, I know I need to grind this next week or two to ensure that the team is in a good place while I take some time off.

Election woes

So far the election has been exactly what I had expected… brutal and depressing at times. As I watched my 49ers celebrate their win against the Cowboys last night on SNF, one of our star players decided to crash a post-game interview with a MAGA hat.

I’m 100% for players speaking up in what they believe in. I’m not in the “shut up and dribble” camp. Professional athletes have a big platform and they should use that platform for what they believe. I’m also not a Trump supporter and have already voted for Kamala.

However, seeing the comments from fellow Niner fans and other sports fans in general just showed how brutal elections are nowadays. We are at a point where supporting a certain candidate has the effect of a large portion of the country hating on that person. Despite me not supporting Bosa’s politic views, I believe that vilifying a person is wrong and counterproductive for us moving forward as a country.

It still hurts me to see how divided the country has become. Elections have become downright nasty and divisive for this country. Whatever happens next Tuesday, I hope that we can start to get back to decency and respect again.

Turning into my Dad

I’ve had a busy and stressful week of work and I’m glad it’s Friday. By the end of most weeks, I’m usually just zapped mentally. I can’t believe just 8 years ago I was accustomed to working 6 and sometimes 7 days a week at times. Lots changes between your mid 20s and your mid 30s.

My wife likes to make fun of me as I slowly transform into my Dad both in looks and personality. I’ve fully embraced becoming a Dad recently. I’ve started saying no to a lot more social events and instead get excited about going baby shopping.

Sitting at a bar drinking all day watching football doesn’t have the same appeal as sitting on my couch all day. I look forward to finding amazing deals in the grocery store and Costco has become my favorite weekend activity.

The Home Depot runs haven’t yet begun but that’s probably because I don’t own a home yet. But I’m sure that’ll start soon in the next few years.

I used to fear getting older. I always thought that my life would get worse after college. Then I thought my life would get worse after my 20s. Thankfully none of that has come true. Sure some things do indeed get worse, but life does getting better. Things change in the best ways and I’m looking forward to these changes in my life.