The constant battle

At the beginning of each week, I like to sit down with a coffee and assess what we’re up against this week. I catch-up on critical things that I didn’t get to over the weekend. And then figure out what needs to be done this week.

Part of this is seeing our goals and where we stack up against that. Almost every week I always have a mild panic attack and my anxiety goes through the roof at this point. Constant goal setting is one of the tough parts of any demanding job, but it’s especially amplified at a small startup.

You set goals and work your ass off to hit them. And if you do well and hit them, the goals get bigger every month, quarter, year, etc. Adding to the fire is that in startup world, you could be a situation where your company dies if you don’t hit goals.

That is unnerving and at Secfi, we’re fortunate that we’re not in that position. But at the same time, the thought of hitting goals constantly does weigh on me quite a bit. Hence every Monday I have anxiety for a few hours until I can calm myself down throughout the day.

The reality is that running most businesses are always going to be stressful. You sink or swim by the revenue you bring in. If you don’t close deals or find work, your business will die. That’s why entrepreneurship is hard - there’s always that constant battle that never goes away. There will be good times and bad times, and things get especially tough in the bad times.

However, if it was easy then everyone would do it. Whenever I go through doubt and see these daunting tasks, I try to remind myself that I’m in this position for a reason and that people believe in me. I can actually do this job and do it well.

Afterall, I recall that at this time last year I was perhaps in the same exact position. We were at our management team meetings in St. Louis and had just set a daunting goal for the rest of the year. I told the team that this would be a stretch and if we got there, we’d have to work really hard and things would have to go our way. In other words, it would be a stretch goal and unlikely.

Well we closed out the year at 96% of that goal. We did work really hard, but the goal wasn’t as unlikely as we all thought it was initially. The number just seemed daunting. But it’s amazing what you can do if you put your mind to things. Whenever things seem scary and my anxiety starts crazy with these daunting tasks, I need to remind myself that I can do this job and I do it well.