The bad nights

I’ve been holding up well the past week with the middle of the night wake-ups. It hasn’t been easy, but I haven’t struggled too bad all things considered. That changed this morning unfortunately.

We had Colin to a good schedule yesterday so Sophia let me get to the gym for a quick workout. I took my usual running class and it was a struggle to say the least. I quickly realized that my 3-4 hours of sleep a night is going to have a tremendous impact on my overall energy levels and mental capacity.

Not only was my run a struggle, but I also noticed I was prone to a lot of brain farts. They’re small and minor things, but these are things don’t normally happen such as forgetting to lock my locker or forgetting where I put my phone.

Regardless, it was nice to get some exercise in. I fell asleep instantly and woke up at my shift to take over Colin duties at 4:30am. The past week hasn’t been too bad, but this morning was a big struggle. I was exhausted and Colin was fussy and did not want to go to bed. I struggled barely staying awake until 6:30am when he finally decided to take a nap and then snuck another hour of sleep in.

I suspect that this was the first bad night out of many going forward. Perhaps I got a bit too confident that things weren’t as bad and my son had to put me in my place. It was a humbling experience and I need to remind myself that this is going to be hard, and I need to be kind to myself.